Burnout. I just thought I was failing, broken, useless. My career dreams were dashed, I was angry and disappointed, I doubted my abilities and I just didn’t have the energy anymore. I didn’t realize that I was in burnout. Mostly because I kept comparing myself to others (there are other moms out there who have it worse and are able to “do it better”) and the childhood echos of “Life is tough, get over it” wouldn’t let me admit how bad it had all gotten.
Burnout = Exhaustion
Mental stability is one of the core focuses of this blog and burnout can completely crumble your stable mental foundation. Did I feel physically and emotionally depleted? Yes. But I had for years and years before becoming a single parent (which is a different story all together). Did I have physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, and appetite or sleeping changes with a heavy reliance on caffeine? Yes, but that was just being an adult…right? Nope.
The signs of burnout can hide themselves in symptoms of other issues. That is why it is a good idea to educate yourself on the signs of burnout so you can identify and treat them early.
Escape Fantasies
My ex just going away and leaving us alone. A job with less stress that understands a work life balance. Enough money to be comfortable. Being able to do all the things Kiddo wants to do. Having an Au Pair so I can just take a day a week to decompress. I thought I was weak for having these thoughts. That I was a horrible mother and person for having these thoughts. I wasn’t. I just didn’t know that this was a sign of burnout that needed to be addressed. But I didn’t know how to accept my feelings as valid.
Emotional Numbness
Since I didn’t have good news to share, I stopped talking about things. I didn’t have time to live my life and tell new stories to the people in my life. My additions to conversations (in hindsight) were undoubtably negative or dismissive. I didn’t want to hear about someone else’s accomplishments. I didn’t want to bask in someone else’s happiness. So…I tried to turn it all off. Basically…no happiness, no sadness, no me. Wake up, do what I have to do, go to sleep, repeat. It didn’t work. In fact, it made it so much worse.
No matter what, as a single mom, know that you’re doing your best. Reflection, which allows you to identify burnout, is an incredible skill to have to boost your quality of life and your kid(s). If you identified with anything in this article or just know that you need some kind of help, read my next article and let me know if it is useful. You aren’t alone and you can do this!
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