Solo & Strong

Well, if you’re asking this question already I would say you shouldn’t. But lets get into it a bit more.

I recently went through an incredibly challenging decision. To leave my family completely. Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews, everyone. Why? They support Trump. That makes them Nazis and Fascists. They would not even have a conversation about the topic. So, I had to say goodbye because I am not enabling that.

While this is a growing movement in the USA, there are other situations where people, like yourself, are in toxic relationships and may ask yourself a question similar to “do I need them in my life?”. Or you may just be wondering why you “have to put up with so much.”

The truth is, you don’t.

Reflect

Think of a person in your life. Just one. The majority of the time you talk to them, do you leave feeling guilty, exhausted, or even worse about yourself? Do you ever have the feeling that if you don’t answer their phone call or texts right away that you will be punished in some way?

Do they violate your boundaries? Do they berate you for even having them?

That is not someone you deserve to have in your life. It doesn’t matter if they are related by blood, marriage, or whatever.

You will be stuck, you will not move forward, you will continue to be miserable if you keep them in your life.

Be Honest

I want you to take a moment. Think of someone in your life who is your cheerleader. Who is always there to talk. Who you care for and who you honestly want to keep in your life. If you don’t have someone like that, but want someone like that, you can imaging that person too.

Then I want you to imagine this is a letter/email you received from them:

This is incredibly hard to say, but it comes from a place of deep care and concern.

The relationship you have with your (family member/partner) is hurting you in ways I don’t think you fully realize—and it’s also affecting the people who care about you. Watching you go through this constant cycle of manipulation, guilt, and emotional harm is so incredibly painful. The worst part is no matter how much I support you, or try to love you through it, you staying in contact with them negates all of that.

I want to be honest: continuing this relationship with your (family member/partner) is starting to damage the relationships you have outside of it—mine included. The emotional strain, the chaos, and the constant aftermath are too much. It feels like you’re choosing to stay stuck in something that’s hurting you, and by extension, it’s also hurting those of us who love you.

If you choose to keep that connection going, I need to step back from our relationship. This isn’t a decision I make lightly, it hurts so much, but I have to protect my own well-being too. If I keep enabling this, not only am I getting hurt, I would be turning into a type of person that I don’t want to be.

You are loved. You deserve peace and safety, not guilt and emotional manipulation. If you ever decide to create distance from that situation, I will absolutely be here for you. I will help you find resources, be there with you every step of the way. But I can’t keep being part of a cycle that is so incredibly harmful to someone I love and care about.

Please know this isn’t about punishment or an ultimatum—it’s about boundaries, safety, and self-respect, for both of us.

What would you do? Which choice would you make? Are you going to sacrifice your happiness? Do you become the toxic person to someone you care about? Or do you choose to become the healthy happy person? Because it is a choice.

If It Helps

Leaving toxic people hurts for a moment. Like ripping off a bandaid. Living your life afterwards? It is absolutely amazing. Everything I imagined my life could be is so much better in reality.

Boundaries are absolutely amazing and make life so much better! Removing the toxic people is empowering and for the first time I was able to breathe deeply in I don’t know how long.

And more and more women are doing this every day! Check out this Youtube video. This is a good article to read from someone who made the decision to leave their family too. Want to hear from someone with credentials? Then try this video.

You can do this. It doesn’t make a bad person. Leaving a toxic person to their own consequences doesn’t reflect badly about you in any way. That is on them.

You deserve happiness. You deserve peace. You deserve love. You deserve support. You are worthy. YOU SHOULD HAVE ALL THE HEALTHY THINGS!!!!!