As single moms the amount of stereotypes we face are staggering. Even more so if you are a minority mom. In this post I want to go over 5 negative stereotypes about single moms that need to stop.
61.9% of respondents expressed having a strong relational bond with their mothers. I absolutely love this statistic! Why? Because so many statistics only focus on the negatives when it comes to Single Moms. In fact, that entire study is worth a read. Breaking through stereotypes as a single mom is difficult, but it feels absolutely wonderful! Here are some of the stereotypes I have had to face, so far.
Negative Stereotypes About Single Moms That Need to Stop 1: Single moms are desperate to find a partner
No. Actually, many single moms enjoy not being married or having a partner. I try to stay away from reddit, just because it isn’t the most factual place to be, but this advice conversation on choosing to be a single mom had some really great and insightful comments. Personally? My life is significantly better as a single mom. The only thing that could make it even better would be if the ex was out of the picture completely (we will get into my co-parenting hell later).
Negative Stereotypes About Single Moms That Need to Stop 2: They use their kids to manipulate their exes
It isn’t the ‘mom’, it is the ‘narcissist’. We need to be very open and honest that it isn’t a fact that all single moms abuse their children this way. Sometimes it is the dad. Sometimes it is neither. Sometimes it is both. Understanding the signs of narcissistic abuse towards children is key to removing them from the situation quickly for the emotional, mental, and physical safety.
Stereotype 3: Single moms are less capable parents
For the love of fudge, no! Many women and children THRIVE when removing the father from the picture. Is it difficult? Yes. Is it challenging? Of course. But many mothers were single parents before they divorced or separated from their partners. So is having 1 less adult child to take care of a load off? Yes! According to this article, and the ones it references, single moms actually become more capable after becoming a single parent and healing. Why? Because through healing you develop the key traits to be a more capable person.
Stereotype 4: Single moms are desperate to be saved by a man
Sir, I saved myself. As have many many moms. I do not need to be saved. The White Knight trope is over. There is no reason why I would trade in the peace I have now for the risk of settling for a narcissistic man-child again. What I, and every single mom, needs is support. That can be in the form of emotional support (therapy), fiscal support (better job opportunities), environmental support (safer places to live), and a million other things. Defaulting to this stereotype brought me nothing but misery (kiddo excluded of course) and abuse. So, disrespectfully, I pass.
Stereotype 5: They will never find happiness because they are “difficult”
Never again will I compress, hide, or diminish who I am because anyone says that I am difficult. And I am not the only one. This article is just the tip of the iceberg of women, in general, not bowing down to patriarchal pressure to be demure and submissive. At this point in my life, I am proud to be “difficult”. I know my boundaries and enforce them. I am confident in my skills and have the results to prove it.
Look, stereotypes are everywhere and they incredibly misleading. Instead of blindly labeling single moms as the dredges of familial society, look for the good. Because it is there in abundance! This is something that we can do to ourselves as single moms too, so we must stay vigilent with our mindset.
What stereotypes are you destroying as a single mom? Let me know in the comments.
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