Solo & Strong

Reduce your stress, part 2! We covered a solid step to help eliminate the financial stressor(s) in the previous post of this short series. For this post, we are concentrating on dreams and goals. And I am going to upset so many people with this…

Don’t Be Too Specific

I know the type of people who are going to come at me for this and, honestly, been there done that. I am writing about this because it works! Here is an example:

“I want to make $150,000 a year, lead a team of 30 people, bring an IT Startup to fame…” blah blah capitalism and corporate cogs blah blah.

Instead…

“I want to exceed my bills, lead and develop a stellar team, and be part of major positive changes in the company.”

This gives you room to explore and find out what really calls to you and gives you a space to be truly successful. You can still achieve the reasons behind the specific goals, it may just look different than what you thought.

And you can apply this to every area of your life!

“I want a 6’2″ partner who makes $1m a year, has a house, gives me presents, is loyal, is physically fit…”

Or

“I want a partner I am attracted to, who is financially stable, a good person, and who appreciates me.”

In truth, it all comes down to what makes you happy, what will reduce your stress, and what is in your control.

Reduce Your Stress by Asking “What Makes Me Happy?”

This actually took more reflection and honesty in some parts of my life than I was ready for, but it needed to happen. So many studies have confirmed that happiness greatly helps reduce your stress. So, I made two lists. “Happy” and “Not Happy”.

It may seem strange, but once I was financially stable, I actually put some of my bills in “Happy”. Why? Because I didn’t need to worry about them anymore.

Mindset, despite being a buzz word, really is helpful. Can I change how I think about this so it makes me happy? Yes? Okay, this is how I’ll do that. Then I listed the steps on how that would happen.

Other items on the list were a bit more obvious for the “Happy”. Having enough money to support the causes I want. A healthy support network. Giving my kiddo a safe and prosperous life. Less social commitments. More time to read and write. Being able to solve puzzles (not business problems, I am not a therapist for businesses).

Once I had at least 15 items on the “Happy” list, it was time to move onto the next list.

What Does Not Make Me Happy?

No? Well, then time to toss it. That may mean a person, where you live, a job, a cluttered closet, your mental health. If it’s been in your life for over 3 months, it needs to bring you exponentially more happiness than sadness, grief, or anything like that.

So what did I pitch? My blood family. Why? They are Trump supporters and that is unacceptable. A W-2 job, because I actually like working as a contractor better. It isn’t like the job market can boast that W-2s have more job security now anyway.

You get the idea.

Despite these difficult choices, and more, it worked. You can reduce your stress by removing things and people. As a single mom, we don’t have time to wait for things to come together or people to fix themselves. Right now, we require support. Right now, we require love. Right now, we require security. If whatever, or whomever, cannot provide that, it/they need to leave now.

Be sure to subscribe for Part 3!